An email from Chris Dennis after seeing the picture of the Machy Wagon in the photo gallery
Bear with me we'll get to the Machy Wagon bit eventually!
Posted to 2 Armd. Div. Engr. Regt. Wksps. in 1997, having got an Op Banner tour out of the way one of my first tasks was to sort out the EMERs. It was found that the resident mice in the Armourers Shop had been busy eating them and a neat quadrant, approx. a third of every page had been reassigned as bedding. Those of you who went through the demanding replacement EMER process will know it was not a speedy process. However it was eventually done and all were neatly filed in their binders complete with security sticky tape on the spines.
Just in time for a major exercise! The armourers, as was often the case, were allocated the Machy Wagon and all our 'monkeys and parrots' were duly loaded, including our nice new EMER library (against my better judgement, which armourer last looked at an EMER whilst on exercise?). Part of the exercise was to get the division across the Wesser using M2 Bridging units, courtesy of 32 Bridging Regt. R.E. (I think). As the workshop of the Engr. Regt. We were amongst the last to cross. Unknown to me a t the time we apparently paid the German government to bridge a river and that times were strictly controlled, naturally by the time we got there the bridge had been broken and an M2 was being used as a ferry, at a lower cost. I was in a land rover leading a packet that included the Machy Wagon, we crossed and went up a small hill and round a corner to await the machy wagons arrival. A brew and a couple of fags later still no machy wagon. A wander back down the hill to the river back to see lots of people deep in thought looking at the roof of the wagon just showing above the water level.
The ferry drill should have been:
1. Anchor ferry to the bank.
2. Driver engage 4 wheel drive and drive slowly on to the ferry.
However in the rush the engineers didn't anchor the ferry and a fairly new HGV driver didn't engage 4 wheel drive. Result; machy wagon pushes the ferry away from the bank and continues until it falls in the water. Much fun for the reccy mechs and engineers, no one is hurt, though the driver was upset as the commander used him as a step ladder to get through the cupola! Wagon is recovered and sent to 12 Armed for 'Drowned Vehicle' drills. 2 or 3 months later the wagon comes back looking in good order, we eventually get to recover all our kit, including our papier machˇe set of EMERs, try explaining that to Publications branch who've recently issued a complete set for rodent damage! To finish the story we plug the wagon into the 3 phase (I think) socket on the wall turn on the mains switch in the wagon and stand back to watch the sparks and smoke. Apparently drowned vehicle drills don't cover anything electrical in the back!
Did we all have so much fun?
Chris
An email from Pete Forster - Is this just another of those tall tales?
After being kicked out of the Armourers Shop for borrowing two pistols (another story for another time) I was given several different jobs to do. One of them was running the unit boat club along with another lad. This involved getting a Land Rover each day, several Jerry cans of fuel and driving to Bir Fuquam where we moored the boat. Once there we refuelled it. After that the day was ours to swim, fish and scuba dive, unless someone wanted to book the boat. If they did, I used to take them out to all the best places to fish, dive or whatever they wanted to do. After I used to sell the fish to the officer's mess or exchange them for a nice meal. It was a hard life, but someone had to do it.
One day however when we got to the village there was a large gunboat moored in the bay. Being nosey, we got in our boat and went for a closer look On getting closer we were a bit put out to find the 30mm cannon on the fore deck was trained on us and was following our every move. It was then we saw a very large dark coloured gentleman armed with an AK47 beckoning us to approach the ship. Being unarmed we decided we had no choice but to go towards him to find out what he wanted.
When we got alongside he asked us if we were British forces. Now as we were unarmed and both cowards we said "No. We were workers from BP" He then said they had pinched the boat from Somalia and wished to surrender to the British Army. We told them we would get somebody to help them, put the boat into top gear and shot off to the shore.
Between the fishing village and camp was a manned roadblock and this is where we headed. By now, with the gunboat well out of range we were back to being brave squaddies. We told the officer in charge that we had accepted the surrender of the boat in the bay, and could we have salvage rights. I'm afraid his answer cannot be printed here. He did however contact Bde HQ to ask advice. Before long, half the staff officers and intelligence officers descended on the roadblock. After much nattering about who should actually go on board, a couple decided they would go, and volunteered us to take them.
We got them out to the boat, we all went on board and took the weapons off them (There were only two people on board) when the officers found out we were Armourers we were ordered to unload all the weapons on board. (There was a large amount of personal and fixed weapons) We ferried the personal back to shore to be taken into custody. We were then ordered to guard the boat till a Navy boarding could come from Aden to collect it.
After having a good look round and collecting a few souvenirs we settled in for a long wait. The boarding party arrived a midnight, so we all had a brew, swapped war stories and explained how brave we were in overcoming the deserters from Somalia. We moored the boat and returned to camp for a meal, and went to bed.
Next day we were called into the OC's office, to be told we were to have our photos taken as we were going to be in the national press. Great! Fame at last Lots of interviews; we phoned parents and friends telling of our heroic deeds and to look out for us.
Unfortunately, the government decided that the issue was to sensitive, as the deserters had valuable information that was of national importance, so our hour of glory disappeared.
Now I cannot find any trace of the event in any records, even after all this time.
So if you know of this event, or any body who does, please let me know.
Pete
An email from Mike Homard after the visit to the Weapons Collection Warminster
Well, I left Home at 5.00 from Ashford in good time to travel to Warminster for the Armrs visit to see the British Army's Smallarms Collection. This was going to be particularly nostalgic for me, as I was one of the Armr's stationed there for a three year posting. I got into Imber Road early, so I took the opportunity to go round to my married quarter in Goodwin Close & took some photo's of the old place. It hadn't changed one bit!I then proceeded Up Imber hill to the top of Battlesbury hill to have a look over the Firepower Demo area. I couldn't gain entry as there were cones across the entry point. So I drove past the RAC Demo SQN barracks there & observed an old Centurion MBT as a GateGuardian. I also saw inside the camp gate, a Saladin Armoured car. A particular favourite of mine as I also used to own one myself! Upon arrival at the 'Land Warfare Centre, I was met with tighter security at the gate than when I was there! photographed, clip on visitors ID, Car Pass Etc. All very reassuring & professional! (Nice Lady on the gate too! Simply HAD to have a chat with her!) Lol! (It was called 'The School of Infantry', in My day!)
Upon entry, it was apparent that not a lot had changed externally, which was also very nice to Experience again. I went round to my old Armrs shop & took some pics of the door signs & some other Personally nostalgic locations also. I observed there was a SABRE light recce tank on a plinth, so I went over to look at it. I like the CVR(T) Seres of combat tracked vehicles. This was of particular interest to me, as I once privately owned a SCORPION light Tank. Can you imagine my surprise when I observed the numberplate? It was 04 FD 42, the Tank I owned, was 04 FD 43! What were the chances of that! All SABRES, were converted from Scorpions, so there are a few, but NOT lots of Ex Brit Army Scorpions about in Private hands! Across the car park from my Old Arms Shop was The Support Weapons Wing. This has been moved from Netheravon. Outside was a CONBAT 120mm A/T Gun. I simply HAD to see & photograph THIS!. As some of you know, I own a MOBAT. Which is basically the same weapon but without the .50" M8C Spotting rifle. It has an LMG instead.
I arrived Early at the Collection Premises & was warmly greeted by Peter who was in good form in his own inimitable style! He was the perfect host for the day, attentive, considerate, amusing & extremely helpful & informative. In fact, no different than you find him normally! Ha, Ha! We had a coffee together & chatted for approx 45 Mins before the doorbell rang & we met the other Visitors at the front. I cant remember everyones names, but Im sure that there will be another 'scribe' who can correctly put into words what I have omitted!
As you would expect, everyone who arrived was either of a trade related nature Or friends of them. A pleasant atmosphere was installed by Peter & we all got on very easily. As the brief initial tour proceeded before Lunch, it got more relaxed & people appeared to be totally at ease with each other, which was very nice! There were a LOT of Subjects to cover, so Peter suggested we have a quick look round & then retire for lunch before returning to view the collection properly.
We left the collection & walked the 100 odd yards to the WO's & Sgt's mess which caused Peter a little consternation as the doors were locked! Considering he had done all the groundwork & set this up, he was a little bit put out that we couldn't gain entry despite repeated knocking of the door! Anyway, someone finally came down & opened up, & we all tramped upstairs. The lunch was a VERY comprehensive brunch of a large menu of fry ups! It did the job admirably & I washed mine down with a yogurt to finish!
After just over an hour we returned to the collection & continued the tour with Peter. He had many amusing anecdotes & stories to tell about a lot of the exhibits, and also related subjects! Extremely informative. We were left to roam without restriction after the walk round with Peter. I spent so much time chatting to some of the others, that I almost forgot about the support weapons in the last room with all the Mortars & HMGs!
You would think it hard to believe I could do that. When I tell you that I was also responsible for a lot of work on the collection when I was stationed there myself! Such was the relaxed mood that prevailed that day! It ended all too early, as anything that is enjoyable usually does! We wrapped up appox three O'Clock. As we all mostly had a fair way to travel, & also it must be borne in mind that Peter lives in Oxford & also had a long way to get Home!
I would like to Sincerely thank Peter for his kindness & hospitality, for arranging the visit as well as the messing arrangements. Also being aware that Peter had given up his own time very generously on a weekend to host this occasion.
So, to conclude: It was apparent that all who attended had a VERY pleasant day. Made all the more enjoyable by a considerate & attentive host!
I look forward to returning again next year.
Peter, a VERY Big Thank YOU, from Me!
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