Postbag
or Pull Up A Sandbag!
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An email from Chris Dennis after seeing the picture of the Machy Wagon in the photo gallery
Bear with me we'll get to the Machy Wagon bit eventually!
Posted to 2 Armd. Div. Engr. Regt. Wksps. in 1997, having got an Op Banner tour out of the way one of my first tasks was to sort out the EMERs. It was found that the resident mice in the Armourers Shop had been busy eating them and a neat quadrant, approx. a third of every page had been reassigned as bedding. Those of you who went through the demanding replacement EMER process will know it was not a speedy process. However it was eventually done and all were neatly filed in their binders complete with security sticky tape on the spines.
Just in time for a major exercise! The armourers, as was often the case, were allocated the Machy Wagon and all our 'monkeys and parrots' were duly loaded, including our nice new EMER library (against my better judgement, which armourer last looked at an EMER whilst on exercise?). Part of the exercise was to get the division across the Wesser using M2 Bridging units, courtesy of 32 Bridging Regt. R.E. (I think). As the workshop of the Engr. Regt. we were amongst the last to cross. Unknown to me a t the time we apparently paid the German government to bridge a river and that times were strictly controlled, naturally by the time we got there the bridge had been broken and an M2 was being used as a ferry, at a lower cost. I was in a land rover leading a packet that included the Machy Wagon, we crossed and went up a small hill and round a corner to await the machy wagons arrival. A brew and a couple of fags later still no machy wagon. A wander back down the hill to the river back to see lots of people deep in thought looking at the roof of the wagon just showing above the water level.
The ferry drill should have been:
1. Anchor ferry to the bank.
2. Driver engage 4 wheel drive and drive slowly on to the ferry.
However in the rush the engineers didn't anchor the ferry and a fairly new HGV driver didn't engage 4 wheel drive. Result; machy wagon pushes the ferry away from the bank and continues until it falls in the water.
Much fun for the reccy mechs and engineers, no one is hurt, though the driver was upset as the commander used him as a step ladder to get through the cupola! Wagon is recovered and sent to 12 Armed for 'Drowned Vehicle' drills. 2 or 3 months later the wagon comes back looking in good order, we eventually get to recover all our kit, including our papier maché set of EMERs, try explaining that to Publications branch who've recently issued a complete set for rodent damage!
To finish the story we plug the wagon into the 3 phase (I think) socket on the wall turn on the mains switch in the wagon and stand back to watch the sparks and smoke. Apparently drowned vehicle drills don't cover anything electrical in the back!
Did we all have so much fun?
Chris
Can anyone top that?
An email from Pete Forster - Is this just another of those tall tales?
After being kicked out of the Armourers Shop for borrowing two pistols (another story for another time) I was given several different jobs to do. One of them was running the unit boat club along with another lad. This involved getting a Land Rover each day, several Jerry cans of fuel and driving to Bir Fuquam where we moored the boat. Once there we refuelled it. After that the day was ours to swim, fish and scuba dive, unless someone wanted to book the boat. If they did, I used to take them out to all the best places to fish, dive or whatever they wanted to do. After I used to sell the fish to the officer's mess or exchange them for a nice meal. It was a hard life, but someone had to do it.
One day however when we got to the village there was a large gunboat moored in the bay. Being nosey, we got in our boat and went for a closer look On getting closer we were a bit put out to find the 30mm cannon on the fore deck was trained on us and was following our every move. It was then we saw a very large dark coloured gentleman armed with an AK47 beckoning us to approach the ship. Being unarmed we decided we had no choice but to go towards him to find out what he wanted.
When we got alongside he asked us if we were British forces. Now as we were unarmed and both cowards we said "No. We were workers from BP" He then said they had pinched the boat from Somalia and wished to surrender to the British Army. We told them we would get somebody to help them, put the boat into top gear and shot off to the shore.
Between the fishing village and camp was a manned roadblock and this is where we headed. By now, with the gunboat well out of range we were back to being brave squaddies. We told the officer in charge that we had accepted the surrender of the boat in the bay, and could we have salvage rights. I'm afraid his answer cannot be printed here. He did however contact Bde HQ to ask advice. Before long, half the staff officers and intelligence officers descended on the roadblock. After much nattering about who should actually go on board, a couple decided they would go, and volunteered us to take them.
We got them out to the boat, we all went on board and took the weapons off them (There were only two people on board) when the officers found out we were Armourers we were ordered to unload all the weapons on board. (There was a large amount of personal and fixed weapons) We ferried the personal back to shore to be taken into custody. We were then ordered to guard the boat till a Navy boarding could come from Aden to collect it.
After having a good look round and collecting a few souvenirs we settled in for a long wait. The boarding party arrived a midnight, so we all had a brew, swapped war stories and explained how brave we were in overcoming the deserters from Somalia. We moored the boat and returned to camp for a meal, and went to bed.
Next day we were called into the OC`s office, to be told we were to have our photos taken as we were going to be in the national press. Great! Fame at last Lots of interviews; we phoned parents and friends telling of our heroic deeds and to look out for us.
Unfortunately, the government decided that the issue was to sensitive, as the deserters had valuable information that was of national importance, so our hour of glory disappeared. Now I can’t find any trace of the event in any records, even after all this time. So if you know of this event, or any body who does, please let me know.
Pete
